Friday, August 12, 2011

Mama Bear Syndrome

I have done the stay-at-home mom thing, and now I am doing the working mom thing. I can't honestly say which one is harder. (But some days I wish I was back at work.) Each has its moments. There are times when your kids are stir crazy that you think, I wonder what is going on at work today. And then when you are at work, if you have the time, you wonder what your precious darlings are doing at daycare or with their dad.

The decision to have the kids go to daycare (and for me to go back to work) was a hard one but it was necessary with today's economy. (Which has taken another nosedive, big thanks to the guys in charge.) Daycare is an agonizing decision for most mothers. Will they be happy and safe there, etc? There are the days when your youngest clings to your leg and begs you not to leave her there (and you die a little bit inside).  And then the next day she barely even stops to say goodbye before she runs off to cause havoc with the other children (You're happy, but you feel bad because she doesn't need you).

Like most times in life, there is the evil child that tries his damnedest to make your babies' lives hell. My girls are learning the hard way that not everyone has to or will like you. He calls them names (Which I thoroughly dislike, but can tolerate. Kids will be kids.). But now the little spawn of hell has resorted to violence. He punched Adelyn, pushed Paige out of the line for the monkey bars, and knocked Charlotte down on the sidewalk. (She has a huge bruise and a scraped knee.)

Now, I want to find out who the little booger is and hang him up by his toes. I can gleefully devise any number of tortures for the little demon. A mother bear will kill anything that disturbs her young, can I take a page out of her book? Mothers are always thought of later in our children's lives as this calm and comforting presence. Our kids never remember how we became a snarling, drooling mass of rage when what's-his-name made them cry.

We do. It is in our nature to remember everything anyone has ever done to hurt our precious babies. Don't cross someone's mother because she just might rip your throat out. She will feel righteous and justified about it too. Go too far and some mothers (ME) will take out your parents and everything you hold dear.

Luckily for me (and my girls), this little boy is just in daycare for the summer. My husband is the one who picks up our daughters from daycare so the little boy has been safe from my wrath so far. Even though I have had to simmer in silence (My husband will disagree about the silent part.), I think it has been good for me. I have to practice restraint because I have no other choice.

Really, how good would I feel if I went all "Mama Bear" on this little boy and made him feel as bad as my girls? I might get some slight satisfaction for all of about thirty seconds before I would realize that I am now the bully. Even worse I am an adult bullying a child. So I guess what I am saying is to let the rage simmer and teach your kids to turn the other cheek. (And defend themselves when necessary.)

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