Thursday, July 7, 2011

Mom is a Person Too.

Some days I want to wave my hands in front of my children and yell, "I am more than just your mother." (Other days I want to strangle my husband and yell, "I am more than just your wife", but I digress.) It is amazing to me how quickly your personal identity is lost when you become a wife and mother. Instead of being the cool girl at the party, you are the frazzled mom at the play date. We mothers begin to identify ourselves by our children. Other people also identify us by our children's actions. (Oh, don't talk to her. She's the mother of the biter over there.) Seriously people, just because our children sometimes act like rabid hamsters it doesn't mean that we are wackos as well. (Usually.)

Not only have we been delegated as "that weird kid's mom" or "so and so's wife", mothers are all of a sudden responsible for everything that goes on in our people's lives. Does my husband have clean underwear? (I am always behind on laundry, don't judge me.) Did my daughter forget to flush the toilet again? (Well, really, every family has one of those.) We get the title of Lord High Chancellor but none of the perks. Everyone knows that mom is the boss. However, everyone seems to forget that we are also designated the cook, the maid, the scullery maid, the laundress, and every other crap title that no one else wants.

Do me a favor and close your eyes. Imagine that every mother on the planet neglected her duties for a week. Do you know what would happen? Total anarchy. One would think that if the sink piles up with dishes eventually someone would wash them, but oh no that never happens. Granted, if you are a mother of small children, you can't expect them to clean the toilet with a toothbrush. (Save that for the teenage years.) I don't think it is too much to ask that they pick up their toys and put their dirty clothes in the hamper. (AND TO STOP RUNNING IN THE DAMN HOUSE! By the way, my little darlings, fast walking is still considered running.)

Those of you out there that haven't been given the gifts of wifedom and motherhood (and the burdens) are probably thinking, "God, what is with this woman? She is just railing on her family." To you I say, "Shut it." When you are expected to keep a household of five people running, eventually the insane, slightly maniacal rant has to come out.  But again, I digress. All we really want is for our families to realize that cleaning up their messes and fixing their problems is NOT (I repeat, NOT) always the highlight of our day.

We love you, really we do. But our jobs as mothers (and wives) is not to do everything for you. We are supposed to raise you to be upstanding, INDEPENDENT people. (Hopefully, our mothers-in-law have already done this for our husbands. I am sure my mother is just dancing with glee right now. Yes Mom, I finally get it.) This means (and get ready for a shocker) that we aren't supposed to do everything for you. So do mom a favor and go clean your playroom for her. She didn't make the mess in there, why so she have to clean it? (Oh, and to our dear husbands, if you need clean underwear, you know where the washing machine is. Use it.)

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