Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Mom's Don't Get Sick Days!

Look at me! Two posts in two weeks, I'm setting a record here. If I was thinking straight, I would postpone this post so as not to give anyone unrealistic expectations of my posting talents. I blame the stomach bug that has been plaguing me for the past couple of days. I hate being sick. Well, really, who likes to be sick? Maybe super models that have eaten too much salt and need to de-bloat. But back to me. (I am narcissistic when I am sick.) I am ill. The world SHOULD revolve around me.

Unfortunately, moms don't get to wallow in bed like a Victorian lady. My ladies maid will not bring me tea and crumpets or sugared oranges. The nanny will not see to the children for me. The household staff will not make sure the house is dust free. The cook won't prepare supper for my family. It is depressing. I can't even read historical fiction whilst I am sick because it ticks me off.

Moms have to get up. We have to get the kids ready for school. Inspect toothbrushes to verify that the morning brushes did in fact happen. Make sure that shoes are on the right feet and tied in the necessary double knot. We have to feed them. Some moms are lucky enough to have all their children in school at the same time. (Unfortunately NOT the case for me.) When they are all gone, you might get a few blissful hours of decongestant laced, uninterrupted sleep. If you still have little ones at home, you are doomed to making lunch, entertaining, and generally keeping your child alive. Normally this isn't the most difficult aspect of your day, but when you are sick it feels like you are competing in the decathlon while crawling over hot coals half dead. (Trust me. Not an exaggeration.)

I don't know about you, but it always seems like I get sick when my husband absolutely cannot take time off from work to help with the kids or (Heaven forbid.) take care of me. I often wonder if the work emergency is a ruse to get away from my germ infested self. (Yeah, I know you are fibbing sometimes. Never mind the fact that when you are sick, my dear husband, I make you homemade chicken soup. AHEM.) Until your hubby gets home, you are on your own.

I caught myself actually playing fetch with my youngest daughter today. I laid in bed and surreptitiously prayed to my maker for death. Charlotte wants to be entertained. I grabbed the little ball we have for the dog and tossed it into the next room. Charlotte retrieved it and brought it back. Once she seemed to lose interest in the game and I whistled at her to get her attention. (Hangs head in shame.) Desperation is the mother of invention.

The best advice I can give you moms is get your flu shot. Take your vitamins. Air out the house once a week. Buy Lysol and Clorox wipes in bulk. Check your stock of tissues and any preferred cold and flu medications. Here's to hoping that you survive the cold and flu season.

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