Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Baby Fever

This last weekend I fell prey to a dangerous malady, Baby Fever. Just when you have decided that you don't want to (or if you can't) have anymore children, everyone around you starts gestating. Baby fever is a close relative of the Wedding Bug. Those of us who already have children think we are immune. (You are NEVER immune from Baby Fever.)

As soon as you attend a baby shower or visit a new mom in the hospital, you are infected. You hold that tiny little person and think, "Why did I think this was so terrible?" Don't fall for it. Soon that glowing new mom will be like the rest of us. (Drooling from exhaustion and wishing for earplugs.) It is amazing how quickly we forget the months and months of pregnancy, the pain and PAIN of childbirth, and the years of motherhood that comes with one of those tiny little bundles. (Not to mention the cost of raising a child, I could have been a millionaire.)

Yes, motherhood is a wondrous and beautiful thing. But we are all kidding ourselves if we don't admit to thinking, "What was I thinking". These moments usually happen when you catch your daughter cutting her hair (That was me...last week.) or your child throws an absolute tantrum that can be heard through the whole grocery store (Also me....too many times to count.). You look at your child and wonder why you thought this was such a good idea in the first place.

Kids are fun. Mine make me laugh on a daily basis. (They also make me completely insane.) If you really want that second child, go for it. Or you could be like me. I don't need another baby (I had my tubes tied anyway.).  So when I feel the effects of Baby Fever, I buy a travel size bottle of baby shampoo and take hits from it like a crack addict until the Fever passes. You want to feel the movement of a baby inside your belly again? Eat a bowl of beans. That will get things moving.

Babies are fun and being a mom is great, but think before you gestate. Kids are fun and messy and frustrating and wonderful and frustrating. Kids are a life sentence. Once they leave home, you will worry. It is inevitable. I am enjoying my sentence. I did the crime (tee hee) and now I am doing my time. I am not immune to baby fever. I never will be, but I think I can wait about twenty more years....for grandchildren.

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